Tuesday, December 6, 2011

all hands on the poop deck

I need to change my morning routine. Lately I have been horrible at getting myself and 2 kids out the door in the morning in a responsible, sane and timely manner. By the time I get to the transit center & run for the bus I feel like a crazed lunatic. The plus side to this is I always get a seat to myself because who wants to sit next to the crazy, foaming at mouth girl with her dishevelled hair & baby vomit perfume. Steven waits about 15 minutes after I am supposedly on the bus to call me, to give me time to calm down, its that bad!
I have had a bad track record the last few weeks where I have slept though the alarm one day, my alarm totally decided not to go off another and than add to the equation a very grumpy, totally not a morning 4 year old, an almost always very morning 8 month old & a dog that even if you let her out right before you go to bed, acts like she is going to poop right there on your foot if you do not let her out at this right moment. She chooses her moments too,
"Oh, your just out of the shower naked, running around looking for clothes, yeah ya think you can open the door that just happens to have big panes of glass with see through curtains so I can go out or what"
"Oh, you got a naked baby on the bed, trying to wrestle with him to stay still to get the diaper on before he sprays you, yeah you think you can let me out now"
It goes on & on.
Maybe I should get to bed earlier instead of staying up late to watch one more episode of Gossip Girl, folding laundry or cleaning up after everyone.
I do not know why I think every morning is gonna be different! Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  Einstein knew his stuff! So I vowed to do things differently in the morning, you know to show I have some skills in being proficient and reliable. Which went totally to shite this morning!
First off I set my alarm for 20 minutes earlier than I am used to getting up. Hoping this would give me some extra time so I did not have to be Mommy Drill Sergeant yelling " Come on  maggots, shoes on, coats on, move move move"
I still got up late, stupid alarm clock. Everything was going ok, got the kids up dressed, fed and even got the dog out without incident. Sawyer was in his car seat all ready to go when he started grunting. This is not unusual, it is his choice of communication, so I did not even flash a notice.
We were even 5 minutes ahead schedule! Feeling somewhat less insane and rushed, I bent down to get the car seat when a foul stench waifed up at me. Great, so he was grunting for something. I spent about 2 minutes of our ahead time contemplating just leaving him and letting our wonderful daycare person take care of him. I let the good mother win, took him out of his seat and onto his changing table.
With Sawyer laughing at me, I took off each layer of clothing as the stench got worse to find it had all gone up his back side.
20 minutes later, we were back in the car and heading down the street.
So tomorrow I will just be happy getting out of the house on time, who needs goals anyway!

This is written from my blogger app on my phone...how cool or sad is that!

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